by Nils & Michelle Reuter —
“I don’t know what to do. I want to follow Jesus, but I just don’t fit. I’ve tried church, but I’ve never felt accepted,” a high school student told me as tears streamed down her face.
Conversations like these break my heart. This young woman, raised in a Christian home, was eager to know and submit to Jesus, but viewed the church as an obstacle to her faith. Unfortunately, in my work with teenagers and young adults, conversations like these are too common.
While the problem is not new—every generation of Christians faces challenges transitioning from childhood to adulthood—today’s young people are leaving the church in droves. Hemorrhaging Faith, a foundational report by the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada states, “Only half of Canadian children raised in evangelical churches continue to attend church regularly as adults.”
As Christian leaders, what can we do about this alarming exodus?
1. Demonstrate Lavish Grace
“God might love and forgive me, but Christians won’t if they knew what I’ve done.”
Teens often believe that while Christ will forgive their sins, those they share a pew with will be less generous. According to Hemorrhaging Faith, many youth experienced ridicule for poor behavior, instead of the lavish grace extended by Jesus. While we try to protect teens from the repercussions of moral failures, they hear judgement. Our hesitation to extend grace and accept brokenness causes young people to abandon their faith. “Emerging adults are looking to be part of a congregation that will accept people as they are and love them relentlessly,” reports Hemorrhaging Faith.
As parents and church leaders, we need to balance teaching young people about right-living while leading them into relationship with their Saviour. We must ensure they encounter Jesus, before we address wandering behaviours.
2. Open and Honest Dialogue
“My parents go to church, but they abused me. Why would a loving God let that happen?”
“My friend is gay? Is he going to hell?”
These are just a few of the questions teenagers asked last summer when I spoke at a high school camp. Once I said, “I don’t know,” the questions kept pouring in as students wrestled with doubts and fears. The more I walked alongside high schoolers, the more I realized they weren’t searching for answers. They wanted acceptance and compassion from someone willing to empathize with their doubts. “It’s not doubt that is toxic to faith—it’s silence,” writes Dr. Kara Powell, in 3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager.
Our instinct is to respond defensively, but research shows questions should be encouraged. “Teenagers with doubts who felt the freedom and had the opportunity to express their questions actually showed greater faith maturity,” writes Powell. When young people have a supportive space to explore their beliefs, they are far more likely to continue to pursue the Christian life.
3. Flip the Ratio
Most church youth groups operate with a 5:1 ratio — five teenagers for every leader. In her book Sticky Faith, Dr. Powell ponders what would happen if we flipped this ratio and each young person had five mentors connecting with them?
Teenagers report that their “relationship with people in the congregation was far more instrumental to their spiritual growth than the sermons,” (Hemorrhaging Faith.). Mentoring needs to happen in addition to regular youth group programs, not as a substitute. As church leaders, we need to challenge mature Christians to intentionally invest in the lives and faith of younger Christians.
There is Hope
While our ministry models need to change, there is still hope for the next generation of Canadian Christians. Hemorrhaging Faith states, “When it comes to the ethos of the church, young people long to be part of a faith community that is multi-generational, authentic and inclusive.”
Nils and Michelle are both Alumni of Mount Carmel Bible College where Nils now serves as President
Article from Thinking Ahead Spring 2023 (Read the rest of the issue here or PDF)
(Photo: Michelle & Nils Reuter are raising 3 members of the next generation.)
Recommended Resources
Hemorrhaging Faith: Why & When Canadian Young Adults are Leaving, Staying & Returning to the Church, Evangelical Fellowship of Canada (EFC). (hemorrhagingfaith.com)
3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager: Making the Most of Your Conversations and Connections, Kara Powell and Brad M. Griffin. (fulleryouthinstitute.org/3-big-questions)
Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids, Chap Clark and Kara Powell. (amazon.ca)
Effective Christian Education: A National Study of Protestant Congregations, Search institute. (searchinstitute.org)
Recommended Resources
Hemorrhaging Faith: Why & When Canadian Young Adults are Leaving, Staying & Returning to the Church, Evangelical Fellowship of Canada (EFC). (hemorrhagingfaith.com)
3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager: Making the Most of Your Conversations and Connections, Kara Powell and Brad M. Griffin. (fulleryouthinstitute.org/3-big-questions)
Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids, Chap Clark and Kara Powell. (amazon.ca)
Effective Christian Education: A National Study of Protestant Congregations, Search institute. (searchinstitute.org)